While our decision to seek out single males seemed like the right next step, it wasn’t all roses and sunshine. When we decided to test going out and finding a single guy we were excited about finding a dynamic that worked for both me and my husband. At the aforementioned party we met a gentleman who was very hot and sexy. He was really fun to be around and made me feel electrified in and out of bed. We went out a few times alone without my husband and had a great time. Exploring a new sexual landscape with my “boyfriend” was titillating, but soon we realized that while the sex with single guys was great, it wasn’t nirvana.
After a few months of getting together a few times per month, something terrifying occurred. During the course of our relationship, we had primarily communicated via text messages. As time went we began to email each other on a separate email account he had opened for his swinging escapades. Out of the blue one day I received an email from this gentleman’s ex-girlfriend who proceeded to state that she had HIV and she wanted to let me know. I flipped out and didn’t really know what to do. To be safe, I immediately rushed to the doctor to get a full screen of testing done. It turns out that it was a vindictive ex spreading false information. Nevertheless I let the gentleman know what had transpired and he explained that she had broken into his email and contacted all his lovers in spite to disrupt his life. I felt relieved that it was a lie, but it was a reminder of the dangers that are omnipresent. Further it was strike two in bad endings to what was supposed to be a lifestyle that enhanced our sex life. Finally it underscored the need to practice safe sex during every encounter as one never knows what activities your partners are engaged in and with whom.
Bottom line, I was learning what I wanted out of this swinging lifestyle. I really enjoyed the drama free orientation that the couples brought to the table, but still wasn’t over my jealousy enough to do a full swap. With respect to single males, we determined that we needed to be more selective and find mature and respectful men, which has typically led me to gentleman a bit older than me.